A series of unfortunate events

I have been having trouble falling asleep lately. I'm not sure why but its so frustrating laying there for hours before finally dosing off. Last night I had the brilliant idea that drinking a glass of wine before bed might just do the trick of making me drowsy  WRONG. A large glass of wine at 11:00 pm does the exact opposite of making you tired. I was instead awake and finding everything funny. This included but was not limited to trying to have conversations with Ryan while he was dreaming. Holding his nose closed to see how long it would be until he was gasping for air. Tickling his arm to make it feel as if a spider was crawling up it....yes, I am cruel. The funny thing was that he didn't fully wake up through all of my torture {and subsequent laughing of the results}.

So after an hour of this, I got bored and decided to give up and attempt sleep again. Sleep did not come and it got me thinking of the silly things that have happened over the last few days. Nothing too substantial but silly enough to get me laughing again. It started the other day when I took the dayhome children to a movie. Little did I know that the twins I look after had never seen a movie before. They were shell shocked to say the least. When we arrived the adverts had already started so it was dark. The theater was full so I told all the kids to shuffle down to the front row. We sat down and I realized that I was missing a twin. Looking back I see a little girl collapsed at the top of the steps. Startling you ask? Not at all. This is what I call "Baby Roadkill". It just so happens that when the twins face adverse situations they collapse and play dead. No joke. This always happens when someone knocks at my door that they don't know. I have the Jehovah Witnesses in front of me and two baby's playing dead on the floor behind me. It sounds silly but it's really their way of coping. They just lay there until the "threat" is gone. So needless to say, I went and collected the unresponsive toddler with a few weird glances from other theater goers. 

Once the movie had finished everyone got up at once. While getting on the kids jackets I realized the other twin was no where to be seen. Wonderful. So I ushered the other half ready kids out the theater to find him tailing another family towards the exit. It did make me laugh because he was just so overwhelmed. Obviously he thought everyone was leaving and herded out with the family beside us.

The next unfortunate event happened when Ryan and I took the kids to Ihop the other morning. It was only the twins that day and Ryan had been surprised with a day of no work due to finishing his other job early and not being able to fill the day with anything else. He suggested we go and have a nice breakfast. We ordered and as we were eating, I realized that little M was storing food in her mouth. As a side note, they are very messy eaters and tend to dissect their food, put it in every nook of their body {toes specifically}, into pocket's of their clothing, rub it in their hair....you get the idea. So needless to day, Ryan wasn't exactly appetized watching them eat LOL. All of a sudden, little M started choking on all the food stored in her cheeks. My instinct is that similar of a mother I suppose and I put my hand up to her mouth only to have her throw up whatever breakfast she had managed to stomach. It was fun, people were looking and Ryan officially could not eat any more food. Not going back there any time soon. 

The last unfortunate event so far this week {if you can imagine this all happening within 7 days} happened last night when we were at a movie. We had decided to get a latte to bring in the movie. I had actually made an effort and dressed up for our evening. I was wearing my beautiful red Laura Ashley coat and had taken time to put on my makeup properly. As we were settling in, I took off my jacket to put on the vacant chair beside me. It was dark so I sort of swung it around and then without realizing caught Ryan's latte. It hit the ground and exploded. Everywhere. Yay for me. It was messy and all over my white Uggs {or formally white I suppose}. As sad as it was, it was also funny and I couldn't help laughing. We moved seats and sort of forgot about it. After the movie we went into Chapters to get Ryan another latte, that is when I caught my reflection. I guess I was rubbing my eyes when laughing and that "oh so carefully" placed makeup was a big black smudge down my left cheek. I looked like a complete fool. So to make myself feel a little better, I did what I do best. Shopped. I ended up buying a new flower pot and a brass mister to help water my orchid. So all was not lost. 

Lessons learned this week: Don't use wine as a sleeping aid. 

                                           Don't lose the children.

                                           Don't swing heavy jackets around hot beverages.

                                           Don't rub your eyes when you have spent half an hour 

                                           applying eye makeup.

                                           Most importantly, don't ever underestimate the power of

                                           retail therapy. xxx